Learning How to Discuss Finances with Your Spouse
When you’re young and in love and have rose-colored glasses on, you’ll find yourself blushing at mentions of babies and romance and honeymoons. You might discuss your dream home, your dream life, and all the ways you and your partner will make each other happy.
But many couples are in for a bitter reality check when they realize they may not be financially compatible or on the same page about spending, managing, and contributing money in the home. So how do you manage finances in a marriage, or really, maintain effective communication in relationships? Here are some insights from Trisha and Thomas:
Start having this conversation early in your relationship
Healthy communication in relationships is dependent on your ability to be open and honest about money, and you should start broaching this subject early on. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or already married, talking about finances is a necessary step.
In addition to starting the conversation early, you should also be upfront about your own experiences, blunders, debts, and general relationship with money. This will allow you both to understand where the other is coming from and help you manage your long-term plans.
Plan ahead when it comes to all financial decisions and conversations
Additionally, you should plan ahead for any and all major financial decisions and conversations. Springing money-related matters onto your spouse at the last moment is not only damaging and stressful, it can take a toll on your relationship quite easily. If you know you have a big expense (wedding, baby, medical needs, large purchase such as a house or car) coming up, you should plan the conversation weeks or months in advance and realize that you’re in this together.
Set mutually agreed-upon financial goals and aspirations
You need realistic, mutually agreed-upon financial goals and aspirations, and be open about your expectations. Is one spouse expected to be the primary breadwinner? How will you manage equity and finances in that scenario? What about owning assets together? Having clear expectations, goals, and division of money is crucial, and it helps to seek professional help such as a financial planner or lawyer.
Decide a realistic budget and expectations together
Apart from major decisions and financial expectations, however, you should also set a budget together. Go over monthly expenses for the home and family, express where things aren’t working (spending too much on indulgences, perhaps?) and what needs adjustment (greater budget for groceries, for instance). Go over it together weekly, monthly, and bi-annually to check in and see if you’re on track.
Learning how to manage finances in a marriage is definitely challenging, but with advice from relationship coaches Trisha & Thomas, you can learn to discuss important factors in your relationship. They are certified in the Couple Communication™ Program and continue to offer valuable advice that you can find through their blog and video channels. Reach out to them for any queries or assistance.


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